Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
