i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
