That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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