I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
