you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize