I wannas sexs uuuuu
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
ttyl tear gas
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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