This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
