): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
