And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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