My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
