I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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