I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
