i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You were trust falling into bushes
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
