I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
