you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
