i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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