you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
