Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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