I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
