He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
