he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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