he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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