please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
