She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
