you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
