And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize