Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize