I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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