I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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