the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Dick very happy bro
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
