so let's talk penis.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize