It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
