My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
