think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You need Xanax blowdarts
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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