ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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