My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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