come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Everyone says I win the strip club
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
