we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
