I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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