And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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