party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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