Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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