My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My ass is underappreciated
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
