I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
