i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
we're so committed to being not committed
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
