6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
