the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
