That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Randomize
