Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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