EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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