I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
