It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Pants are for mortals
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
