The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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