I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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