I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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