wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
