I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize