I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
