You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
