just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
