Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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